ol' bones were just-a-creakin' up the trail. Not sure but I thought I was pertneer to the top. Was gettin' pretty late when I come across this Son of a
Bit@h named Stu drinkin strait out of a whiskey bottle. Friendly he was... til I saw that he had a spotlight and was jackin deer outta season. Back when I young, if you got caught jackin a deer, they woulda hung ya in the rafters and left ya out to dry. Told him I was gonna report him to the authorities and he didn't take to kindly to that. He raised that there whiskey bottle up over his head and before I could get my fists up, he cracked me over my noggin.
Next morning I woke to a guy with his hands all over my head talkin all sorts of gibberish. He had some herbs laid out all over my chest. Looked like sum kinda Indian ritual but boy it really helped me out. I think he went by the name Bern...not real sure. He helped me to my feet but I had to wait for him to pick up every shard of glass...musta been one those tree hugger types...but he got me to the Doc and I owe my life to him...Thanks Bern.

Submitted by: A. Ken Kraneum